50 Thoughts

Shanhu Lee

  1. I feel every night the Moon rattles the poems that I want to write.
  2. I feel every house should have a dogwood.
  3. I feel I cannot remember anything after reading a book.
  4. I feel I never can remember the names of plants.
  5. I feel I want to eat breakfast all day.
  6. I feel I want to stay in bed and read all day long.
  7. I feel I will never be able to finish writing a book, even though I have so many great ideas.
  8. I feel my life-time-accomplishment is that I have saved three rescue dogs.
  9. I feel people should admire my good body.
  10. I feel I am a late bloomer.
  11. I feel ashamed of my low voice after the menopause.
  12. I feel I like talking about myself and I need to talk about myself less.
  13. I feel two squirrels live in my house and they make babies every day at the attic.
  14. I feel sex is overrated, marriage is overrated, relationship is overrated, children are overrated.
  15. I feel this is my home in the midsummer when wisterias spread on my fence.
  16. I feel lucky I don’t have to marry someone for a green card, for money, for sperms.
  17. I feel I really cannot stand bullies.
  18. I feel I want to support underdogs.
  19. I feel I see only red houses and red trees and red mountains and red roads when I walk at the sunset.
  20. I feel we see more what we miss than what we have.
  21. I feel most people are lazy or dishonest.
  22. I feel more than 50% of people are not qualified to become a parent.
  23. I feel I can never find an interesting show to watch on the TV. I wonder what people watch every evening.
  24. I feel a little bird is singing when I see a tiny green leaf on the dark branch of a completely bare tree in the winter.
  25. I feel sick when I think of my father who died alone in the hospital at the snowing night in December, all alone. What did he feel? Did he look for me? Why was I not at his site?
  26. I feel the most important daily ritual for me is to get up early, sit in the crispy air, and listen to birds chirping in my back yard.
  27. I feel have more sex in my dreams than in the real life.
  28. I feel Nancy Pelosi is a hypocrite.
  29. I feel I will not vote for a Democratic president anytime soon.
  30. I feel my house is much prettier than the places I visit. When I travel, I miss the sunset I see from my living room.
  31. I feel sometimes Andrea Bocelli sings to me when I drive through the flowering Bradford pear trees.
  32. I feel there are more racist people than I thought.
  33. I feel irritated when someone wastes my time.
  34. I feel my two brains constantly fight. In the morning I awake with the right brain, and at night I asleep with the left brain. Instead of becoming a scientist AND a poet, I have become a poetic scientist.
  35. I feel my green jade ring is the most beautiful thing I own in my life.
  36. I feel I own too much stuff and I don’t want to acquire anything anymore for the rest of my life.
  37. I feel my neighbors watch me whether I have Christmas decorations or not.
  38. I feel I want to stay in Eric’s island home in Martha’s Vineyard this summer and have a breakfast at Black Dog.
  39. I feel my body and mind live on two different continents.
  40. I feel sometimes spring is colder than summer.
  41. I feel one of my greatest regrets in my life is that I didn’t allow Aspen to sit on my sofas.
  42. I feel Apsen II is an incarnation of Aspen, and Aspen is an incarnation of me-in-my-previous-life.
  43. I feel I am a mom and a dad and a sister to my brother. I feel my brother will break like a delicate glass vase if I don’t take care of him.
  44. I feel my brother is still a 5-year old little boy, whom I carried to the school everyday.
  45. I feel in my entire life I tried hard to change people around me without knowing that I even cannot change myself.
  46. I feel de ja vu when I think of Dingle Peninsula.
  47. I feel I want to buy Ko Pha Ngan, my namesake island, the most pristine coral island on the Earth.
  48. I feel I am most proud of myself for being honest even at the cost of being punished wrongly and at the most adverse human conditions. I feel I am very proud of my integrity.
  49. I feel content when my house is filled with invisible fragrance of the Tibetan Sandalwood Rope incense.
  50. I feel I can tell the God that I read thousands of poems (and published one).