Whenever I am in the hot tub,
I feel I haven’t looked at my body
For a long time.
I discover a red spot on my leg,
Bitten by the brown recluse spider,
I find acne on my belly.
I stretch my legs as long as I can
To reach the far side of the bathtub.
I let my body sink into lilac-scented bubbles,
I contain my arms in the hot water,
I close my eyes.
Then I sigh, deep & long.
Each time in the hot tub,
I feel I haven’t seen my body for a long time.
My skin is rough, my bones ache.
It seems this body doesn’t belong to me.
Seems this body doesn’t need a man,
Who wants to admire me.
How did this happen?
When I am in the hot tub,
I think of Ko Pha Ngan,
The pristine beach and coconut soup.
But I cannot remember
What I have done today.